How To Cope
by Haruka-Chan 212
Summary: DEAD STORY Ami is about to have a nervous breakdown. She doesn't trust any of her friends, but the only way for her to survive her own soul is to allow them into it.
1.

I'm reloading this cuz, well I didn't get a lot of reviews the first time around and I think I'm going to change some of the parts of it to make it a little better. And I'm going to make it a little easier to read, too.  
  
How To Cope  
Chapter 1  
  
  
As we join an average 16 year old sophomore during her forth period, her last period in her school day, we find her staring into space (out the window). There were a lot of things bothering her inside and out.  
  
"Ms. Mizuno. My calculus class is not out there. I regret to inform you." Her teacher embarrassed her in front of the entire class, which didn't help her predicament.  
  
Ami's features froze as she heard select comments from the class. There were two that seemed to be said over and over again. She swore she heard the word 'homo' more then once. She also heard the term 'bastard' a few times. She had forgotten how they found out her father died before she was born.  
  
She thought she was all alone, that nobody liked her, not even her closest friends. She felt that they were around her because they felt sorry for her. There was no love in her life, human wise. She had a great passion for chess. Her mother had taught her when she was only 8 years old; she was a very intelligent girl. She had picked up on it very quickly…  
  
  
"Ami." She heard someone yell after her. "Wait up." That yell belonged to one Usagi Tsukino. Even if she was one of her friends, god she got on her nerves.  
  
Ami blinked nervously as Usagi came running beside her. She knew that she would soon hear comments from fellow classmates. Making fun of Ami, for being friends with a ditz like Usagi.  
  
"Homos!" Both Ami and Usagi heard it. They just brushed it off like nothing.  
  
Ami tried her damnest to fit in. She figured that the only reason everyone picked on her was because she never fought back. She had attempted in the past, but her only reward was laughter in her face.  
  
She couldn't take listening to the constant snickering and comments as her and Usagi walked away from the school. Ami locked her gaze on the ground as a single shimmering line slid down her face. She started running, not knowing where she was heading, just away from Usagi and the school.  
  
As she round the corner, she passes in front of the Game Crown Arcade. Motoki was talking to Makoto, as she saw Ami running and quickly ended her conversation with her boyfriend to see what was wrong.  
  
"Ami! What's wrong?" Makoto yells after her.  
  
She was simply ignored. She slowed as she approached her apartment building. Her hands were shaking and her eyes were filled with tears as she fumbled with her keys.  
  
She stumbled into her apartment, alone. Her mother was at work; she wouldn't be home till after 11 that evening. Ami had the next 7 hours to herself. To waste on absolutely nothing. She had no friends. Yeah, there were people who pretended to be friendly, but only because they felt sorry for her.  
  
The telephone rang, causing her to lose her concentration. She took a few deep breathes before answering, to calm down.  
  
"Hello?" anybody who was paying attention could have easily heard the hurt in her voice.  
  
"Hey Ami, what's wrong? I saw you run by the Arcade and you were crying." It was Makoto.  
  
Ami calms down completely. "It…It…It's nothing." she hoped Makoto wouldn't push it.  
  
"Now, I'm not buying that. I'm your friend, I fear for your safety. Just tell me what's wrong. I wanna help."  
  
She breaks down into tears and hangs up the phone. She kneels down beside the table, her head in her hands, tears blurring her vision. She didn't know what to do, how to handle anything anymore. With determination in her eyes, she stands and heads out to the balcony. She scans over the city of New York, taking it in one last time. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Re-opening her eyes, she slowly climbs over the metal banister. She pushed herself off. 


	2. 

How To Cope  
Chapter 2  
  
  
But before she fainted from shock, her hand was grabbed.  
  
"Let me go." Ami screamed before even looking at her savior.  
  
"I'm not letting you go, Ami. You're my friend, I'll never let you go." It was Makoto. Makoto had come from the Game Crown Arcade, just to comfort her…and save her.  
  
"Makoto!?" Tears form in the corners of her eyes as she's hoisted back up and over the railing. Right into Makoto's loving arms. She just held her, letting Ami cry on her shoulder.  
  
At least 20 minutes later, Makoto had helped Ami into her apartment and onto the sofa. She went into the kitchen and made some tea for them both.  
  
"Tell me about it." Makoto hands Ami a cup of hot tea and sips her own. "And don't pull that 'It's nothing' bullshit. I just saw what you tried to do. Why did…why do you wanna kill yourself?" She tried to stay calm.  
  
Ami continued to let her tears flow. She was able to spit out. "I can't tell you." she ran into her bedroom and locked the door behind her.  
  
"There's a window in there." Makoto frantically tried to break down the door. "Ami, just talk to me, I wanna help. Tell me what's wrong." She rams the door. She moves back to ram it again when she hears a click.  
When she opened the door, Ami was staring out the window. "Tell me. I'm here to listen." She lightly puts her hands on Ami's shoulders.  
  
"I can't take it anymore. I hate being picked on. Harassed. They never leave me alone." She started.  
  
"They? Who are 'they'?" She wonders, helping her over to the bed to sit down.  
  
"The people at school. They make fun of me. For being at the top of our class. They never leave me alone for just getting a 99 on a test."  
  
"Well that's no reason-"  
  
"-I'm not done. They make fun of me for simply being friends with Usagi. They call me homo. Usagi bared full witness to it today. People at school saw us walking together and started with the 'homos'. I heard it today in calculus, I was looking outside when the teacher embarrassed me in front of the whole class."  
  
"He shouldn't have done that, that's not right." Makoto stepped in.  
  
"I heard quite a few 'homos' and 'bastards'. I forgot how it got out that my father had died before I was born. He was in an accident. People started rumors about him killing himself because of me. I can't take it anymore Makoto. Nobody likes me. Mom's never home. I haven't seen her in the past week."  
  
"Ami, how long has this been going on?"  
  
"Since the beginning of the school year."  
"That's been five months. How come you didn't share with us? Usagi and Yuurichirou may not have been good choices, but there was still Mamoru, Minako, Rei and of course myself. All you had to do was ask. You know that we would and will help."  
  
"I tried talking with my mother once. I brought up the subject of depression to her. She laughed at me and called me crazy, saying I'm to young to be diagnosed with depression. I wanted to just hit her and tell her I hated her. I couldn't think. I can't stand to be around her. She doesn't let me do anything. She refuses to let me have a love like." she holds her hands up to her face. "God look at me, I'm shaking."  
  
Makoto takes Ami's hands in her own. "It'll be ok." She gets an idea. "Ami, may I use your phone?" Ami nodded and she went out and made a quick call to Rei at the temple. "Hey Rei. Can you get a hold of everyone and get them at the temple for an emergency meeting. I'm at Ami's now and we just had a major situation. I'm about to take her on a walk, she needs to calm down."  
  
"But what is it?"  
  
"I can't talk now. Her and I will be over there in a half hour or so. However long it takes to get over there. Bye Rei." She hangs up the phone. She enters the bedroom. "You're coming with me. We're going on a walk. I think you need it after this little episode with the balcony."  
  
With little force needed, Ami got up and followed Makoto out of her apartment on the 10th floor. 


	3. 

How to Cope  
Chapter 3  
  
Slowly they started walking. There was no particular destination. Ami looked up to see one of the students from her Physics class walking with his girlfriend. She knew Makoto would see what she was talking about really soon.  
  
"Look at Ami with her girlfriend. What happened? Did Usagi dump you? I don't blame her." He laughs. "Homos."  
  
Ami simply ignored it. But Makoto went on the defensive. "Who the hell do you think you are? Why can't you simply leave her alone?" Makoto took a swing at him, hitting him square in the jaw.  
  
"Can't even fight your own battles. Little prick." He just laughs and walks away, rubbing his jaw.  
  
Ami fought back the tears that stunk her eyes. "Do you see what I mean? That's what I go through everyday of my life. Only it's minus all the violence."  
  
They round one last corner and Ami sees where they're heading. She tried to run off, but Makoto had a hold of her hand, not letting it go anytime soon.  
  
"You gotta let them know sometime. And if you don't, I will. You may not realize it, but you have friends, and they care about you. God, Ami, I just saved you, from well, yourself." Makoto's temper was consuming her.  
  
Ami hangs her head and agrees to tell them. She had to fight back her tears again. Makoto tightened her grip on her hand as they climbed the steps to the shrine.   
  
"You ready?" Makoto silently asked before sliding open the door.  
  
Ami nods and the door is slid open. The room quieted down at the sight of Ami's still red eyes and face.  
  
"What's up?" Minako broke the silence.  
  
And with that, Ami couldn't hold it in anymore, she just started crying, drawing gasps from the groups. None of them had ever seen her like this.  
  
Ami had whispered something to Makoto before taking a seat at the end of the table.  
  
"What's wrong, Ami? What this situation that Makoto was talking about?" Rei was the brave one to ask.  
  
She took a few deep breathes before answering. "She saved my life." She started out, "She grabbed my hand after I pushed myself off of my balcony railing." She let her tears come.  
  
Everyone looked at Ami, then at the person who had saved her life.  
  
"But why? Why would you wanna do that? What's wrong?"  
  
"Usagi, remember when we were walking away from the school, how they were calling us 'homos'. Well that's not the only time it's happened to me. They call me that all the time. Only because I've got two male friends, Mamoru and Yuuichiru, and the rest are female, being all of you. They also call me a bastard. Because of me father dying in a car accident before I was born. I still forgot how that got out. But they're saying that he committed suicide just to get away from me." She pauses to look around at their blank expressions. Taking another breathe, she continued, "I've tried to tell them to leave me alone, but they just laugh at me. My mom laughs at me and calls me crazy, only because I asked her about me suffering from depression. She says that I'm to young to be diagnosed with it. I want to tell her that I hate her. But I can't. I can't bring myself to do it. And it doesn't help that I haven't seen her in the past week. She works to much." She felt a warm hand on her shoulder, she looked back and saw Makoto smiling at her. "The kids at school." She started her next to last statement. "They never leave me alone for simply being at the top of our class. And it just bothers me to always be alone. And I just don't care about anything anymore." She clenches her fists in her pants and cries her heart out.  
  
Nobody knows what to say. They were all in shock over the comments of Ami. She felt alone, but she had never shared her loneliness with anyone. She just kept it inside and now look what happened to her.  
  
"How come you didn't share with anyone?" Usagi fought back tears of her own.  
  
"Because I felt alone in the world. That you all are just my friends because you feel sorry for me. But after what Makoto did, I've learned different about you all. Thanks for listening." she takes note to Rei's silence.  
  
"I don't care what you say, you're staying with me the next few days. You can just tell your mother that I was upset and you wanted to comfort me." Makoto says.  
  
Ami gets up and is trying to leave when Rei says something, "Can I talk to you for a moment, alone."  
  
"Sure."  
  
She led her out of the room and to a door further down the hall. She looks at her. "Before you go, I want you to tell me what you wouldn't say in there."  
  
"But I didn't-"  
  
"-Ami, I know when you hide something. You've done it before. And you were doing it when you were talking about your father. What is it?" she puts her hands on her shoulders.  
  
"I…I wanted to be with him. I know I've never met him, But I miss him." She spitted out. "Are you happy?"  
  
"That's all I wanted to hear." Rei let her back out to get Makoto and leave… 


	4. 

How To Cope  
Chapter 4  
  
"Could you wait out here while I pack some clothes?"  
  
Makoto refuses. "No, especially after what just happened. You're not leaving my sight." She follows her into the bedroom, "Do you need any help?"  
  
She remains silent. Makoto stands in the doorway watching every movement of the smaller, blue haired women. Ami puts her shoulder length hair behind her ear.  
  
"Do you think that's one of the reasons that they pick on you?" she makes the suggestion. "You dyed your hair dark blue over the summer, and the harassment started this year didn't it?"  
  
Ami hadn't even thought about it. "Maybe." was all she said before zipping up her small bag.  
  
They both walk back into the living room. Where a note is left on the table for Mrs. Mizuno.  
  
  
Hey mom,  
  
I went over to Makoto's. She's not feeling very well. I offered to stay with her to nurse her back to health. I'll see you later.  
  
Ami  
  
  
"Make yourself at home." Makoto lead Ami into her apartment in a building on the other side of town. "Me and you can either share my bed, it's plenty big enough for us both. Or I can sleep on the sofa." She suggests.  
  
"We can share. If you're willing."  
  
"No problem. The sofa sucks anyway." She looks at the clock. It read 9:30P.M. "I guess I should retire for the night. I would advise you to do the same. My alarm goes off at 6A.M." Makoto gave Ami a quick hug before closing the bedroom door behind her.  
  
She joined her in bed at 10:30, they both had a long day. So they were both tired.  
  
"I'm sorry, Makoto." Ami said before falling asleep… 


	5. 

How To cope  
Chapter 5  
  
2A.M., Makoto had to go to the bathroom. Slowly and carefully, she got out of the bed. She walked into the bathroom and flipped on the light. She glanced at her reflection as she walked by the mirror. She froze. She turned her attention back to the glimpse she caught of something on her pajamas.  
  
"What the hell?" She straightens out her pajamas to see a huge blood stain on the sugar pink silk. She didn't feel any pain. "Oh my god, Ami, no."  
  
She ran back out into the bedroom. She turned on the light, revealing a huge pool of blood under Ami. She grabbed the phone and called 911, she explained how she had gotten up to use the bathroom when she found Ami had slit her own wrists.  
  
The ride to the hospital had taken forever. She still had on her blood stained pajamas and she had wrapped a blanket around her body.  
  
"It's all my fault, if I had only made her go to bed before me, she wouldn't be here." She thought to herself as the sipped her hot chocolate and waited for the results of Ami's blood transfusion.  
  
"Maybe I should call the others. No, Ami's put them through to much today." She looks up at the clock, "Well, yesterday."  
  
"Miss Kino?" A receptionist called to a half filled room. Makoto stood and followed the person back to where Ami was. "She slipped into a coma. She had lost a lot of blood. The doctor's are watching her very carefully, if her condition worsens, we'll have to take her back into surgery." the nurse opened the door.  
  
"Oh my god." She gasps as she sees her best friend laying motionless on the white bed. Both her wrists taped up, a flow of blood steadily going into her arm. There were tubes and machines hooked up to her. Makoto could barely speak. "Thank you." she said quietly, the tone in her voice asking the nurse to leave. She continued pondering over whether or not to call everyone else.  
  
She picked up the phone and dialed Rei's number. She just hoped someone would be there.  
  
The sound of ringing slowly brought Rei out of her sleep. "What the?" She mumbled, looking at the clock. "4A.M. this better be good." She yawns and walks out of her room and down the hallway. After the 15th ring, she answered the phone. "Hello?" she asked, still half asleep. "This better be good."  
  
Makoto starts crying. "Rei, it's Makoto." her tone quickly woke up her friend. "I'm at the hospital."  
  
"Why? What happened?" She snapped.  
  
Makoto looked at her peacefully resting friend and continued "Ami slit her wrists, both of them. I woke up earlier to use the bathroom and I saw blood all over my pajamas. Then I went back out into the bedroom and Ami was lying in a pool of her own blood. I just panicked and called the paramedics. She just got out of a blood transfusion and she's in a coma." She pauses.  
  
"I'm coming over. I'm gonna stop at Usagi's to get her. I'll see you soon."  
  
Makoto heard a loud click, and started dialing Minako's number. She hadn't expected to get through but much to her surprise Minako's mom answered the phone.  
  
"Hello?" she sounded half awake.  
  
"Hey, Mrs. Aino. Could I speak with Minako. It's an emergency." She sounded rushed.  
  
"Ok, let me see if I can get up." She walked upstairs with her hand over the receiver and opened up her daughter's door. "Minako." She says, Minako only stirred. "Wake up." she shakes her daughter.  
  
"What is it mom? Do you know what time it is?" She looked at her alarm clock.  
  
"It's Makoto. It's an emergency, she sounds like she's been crying." she hands her now wide awake daughter the phone.  
  
"Makoto never cries." She thought, taking the phone from her mother. "Hello?"  
  
"Is there any way you're mom could get you over to the hospital? Ami slit her wrists. I'm sitting right beside her and she's in a coma."  
  
"I'll…I'll…be there." She says in shock and hung up the phone.  
  
"What is it? Minako, what's wrong?"  
  
"Something happened to Ami. We have to got to the hospital." She gets up to get changed into a pair of jeans and a shirt.  
  
Makoto paced in front of the hospital, holding her blanket tight around her shoulders. Her eyes were still red from crying. She spotted Rei and Usagi running up the path. Both dressed in a simple T-shirt and a pair of jeans.  
  
"Where's Minako?" Was asked.  
  
"Right here. My mom was being a royal pain, she wanted to know what happened to Ami." Minako closed a car door behind her.  
  
"You didn't tell her, did you?" Rei snapped.  
  
"Of course not. Why do you think I took a cab over here. My mom wouldn't bring me over." There was along pause. "How is she?"  
  
"I think you better see for yourself." Makoto turned to walk back into the hospital. They took the elevator to the fourth floor. They headed toward room number 408. "Let me go in first." She opened the door.   
  
A few moments later, Makoto motions for everyone else to come in.  
  
"When did you find her?" Usagi takes note of her heavy eyelids.  
  
"I found her about two hours ago. I had gotten up to use the bathroom. And I spotted the blood on my pajamas." She opened her blanket and showed them her pajamas. "I went back into the bedroom and almost fainted. I saw Ami laying in a pool of her own blood. I called 911 and now we're all here. Ami had a blood transfusion and slipped into a coma from the lose of blood." She was now crying like she had been on the way to the hospital… 


	6. 

Hoe to Cope  
Chapter 6  
  
The sound of beeping and clicking woke Makoto the next morning. She opened her eyes to see Ami awake and a nurse, she assumed, was checking her vitals. Ami looked sore and tired, as if she hadn't slept at all that night.  
  
"Ami?" She said, "When did you wake up?" Makoto swings her legs off the edge of the chair.  
  
"Earlier. I'm sorry for worrying you all. And for ruining your bed sheets and pajamas." She says.  
  
"Did you see the other girls?"  
  
"Yeah, they left for school an hour ago. They figured you had a rough night, so they let you sleep. Minako says she'll get your work for you." Ami looked at the young man working on her. "What's your name?" She wondered.  
  
"My name's Ryo. I work with the younger patients." he hooks up another IV bag.  
  
"You don't look old enough to work here." She comments.  
  
"I'm 18, I just graduated from Mugen Gakken High School last year." He looks at her chart. "Crossroads High School." He shakes his head as he reads further on her paper. He picks up her hand to examine her wrists. "Now, Ami, why would you want to do that to yourself?"  
  
"A lot of things on my mind." Was all she said before turning away.  
  
"You're going to be moved to the psyche ward. Which is two floors above this. And I'll get to see more of you, because that's the floor I usually work on."  
  
She turns back to him. "When are the moving me?"  
  
"This afternoon. Does your mom know you're here?"  
  
"Here, no. She thinks that Makoto here." she motions toward her tall friend. "is sick and I'm staying with her. Why?" She shouldn't have asked.  
  
"Why didn't you tell her? Because it seems that she's your doctor while you're in here."  
  
Ami felt all the color leave her face and neck. Makoto had the same reaction, If only they had told someone about Ami trying, well, jumping off the banister, this would not be happening right now.  
  
"What are the odds of that?" Makoto breaks the silence. "There are a hundred doctors in this damn place and Ami end up with her own mother."  
  
"Ami?"  
  
"Great. What else could go wrong?" Ami mumbles as she heard her mother's voice.  
  
Dr. Mizuno came around the curtain and tried to hold back her tears. Her baby girl was laying there with her wrists taped up, on that hospital bed.  
  
"Mom, I'm sorry." She jumped when Ryo stuck her with a needle to draw blood. She turned her head away from her mother to face Makoto. Who simply nodded. "I did this last night. Before I went to bed."  
  
"How did Makoto find you then?"  
  
She looks back at her mother. "You didn't get my note. I went over to Makoto's, after I tried…I tried…"  
  
Makoto stepped in. "After she tried to jump off your banister. I had seen her running by the Arcade and I called her. She was crying when she hung up on me. So I went over and got lucky because she left her door unlocked. I got over to the balcony just as she pushed herself off, I grabbed onto her hand."  
  
Dr. Mizuno let the tears come. She looked back at her daughter who hung her head. "Is that true Ami? Did you actually do that?"  
  
She nodded and bit her bottom lip.  
  
Ryo handed Dr. Mizuno, Ami's chart and left the room. She read over the part where she had been in a coma for 4 hours. She gasps at the line that read "when we went in for the blood transfusion, we found that she lost nearly 3 pints worth of blood. Her body temperature had dropped to 91 degrees."  
  
"Ami?" She looks at her. "Why?"  
  
"I'm depressed. I don't care what you say. I just don't care about anything anymore. I've been reading mom and I know that's a sign of depression. And that people as young as 6 can be diagnosed with depression." Ami snapped.  
  
Her mother took a step back and Makoto was in shock. They had never seen her like this. "I'm sorry."  
  
She kept the attitude going. "Mom, you're never home. How do you know what the hell I'm doing while you're gone. Where do you think I got all those cuts on my legs. I did them myself, while you were at work. Dammit mom, who's more important, the god damned children here, or your own daughter?"  
  
She waited for an answer.  
  
"You are. I had no idea that you felt like this. How come you didn't say anything to me?" she was shocked at Ami's anger.  
  
She pauses, just long enough to catch her breathe. "You're why I didn't tell anyone. I tried to tell you that I felt down and you just simply laughed at me. You said I'm to young for depression. Well I guess you thought wrong, look where I ended up."  
  
"I was wrong, Ami, I should have listened to what you had to say."  
  
"Because of you, I put everything off, I didn't tell my friends, I pushed it away, thinking I've been having bad days. But those bad days became worse days. And they never went away. I felt alone that my friends where only around me because they felt sorry for me. But after what happened yesterday, I learned differently. I do have friends." She looked at Makoto. "Especially Makoto. Without her quick thinking, I would be in the morgue rather then here talking to you. Telling you how much I hate you…"  
  
"I had a feeling you felt like that. You never shared anything with me. You were always locked in your room. I have no idea what you were doing in there, but I know you were locked in there. I did notice there was a knife missing, I meant to ask you about it, I just thought that it fell between the counter and the refrigerator. But you had it?"  
  
Ami clenches her hands in the blanket. "Yes." Was all she said before crying.  
  
Makoto continued sitting there, listening to what Ami had been saying to her mother. She almost lost it when she said about the cuts on her legs. She steps up to her crying friend.  
  
"We have to move her upstairs now." A nurse walks into the room. "Dr. Mizuno, there's an emergency downstairs with a six year old with burns all over his face."  
  
She just nods and walks out of the room… 


	7. Chapter 7

I regret to inform everyone that I will no longer be working on this story. It hasn't interested me in a VERY long time. I'm sorry to any of you who were really interested in this story, I just don't see myself finishing it. Anything that's more then a year since the last update will get this.

On Another note, I'm going to try to turn over a new leaf, and FINISH my stories before i even post them on here.

If you wanna talk to me, my AIM is Galerians212. I'm online ALL the time. I love meeting new people. Or you can IM me to yell at me for this hehe.


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